Cracks

Broken
that's what I am

Okay, I'll admit
maybe that's a little over dramatic
I just have some small cracks
below the surface

Nothing major
at least not to me

I won't say I cry myself to sleep every night
or cut my wrists
because I don't

I sleep perfectly fine
and the thought of cutting myself
is just weird to me

My life is nothing to complain about
I have a few friends
both my parents are still here
and still love each other

That's more than most people can say
So why do I imagine
all these bad things happening to me

Why do I think that one day
my mom will kill herself
or I might get raped in a dark alley

My day dreams are filled with violence and gore
what is wrong with me?

Why do I make up these terrible scenarios
in my mind
yet I can't read a sad book without
getting upset

I've actually cried over thoughts
that are just in my head

Maybe I should cry more anyway
at least as a small attempt
to fill in these cracks