[x]

HeartthrobWhen I think about you
I loose my appetite

When I see you
I get uneasy

When I am near you
I start to sweat

When you look at me
I become nauseous

When you talk to me
A rock settles in my belly

When you touch me
My chest hurts

I think
I am in love

DrownI see as I now look back
How I've hit the wrong track
I hit my head against the wall
I'm at the bottom of a water fall

I'm screaming and kicking
But I'm only sinking
Almost out of air
I wish you could hear
My prayers, but they go under
Drowning in the water's thunder

I have tried to change
I guess I'm just too strange
But now it is too late
The water's power too great
I have lost my hopeless fight
And drift into the deep dark night

I let the water take me downstream
Falling asleep into a long, cold dream
But when I reach shore
I will get up once more
I won't ever back down
No, I will never drown

Star stuff, they say Am I
will infused into light,
free to choose my course?

or
Patterns of force,
obeying bound pathways,
bumps on the entropy plane?

or am I
Self story,
world rich within,
seeking pleasure and pain?

or could I be
Simulated image,
flickering show,
a mirage that comes and goes?

what if
I exist to wonder,
believe it to be true,
feedback loop that begins anew?

I will doubt myselfI will doubt myself,
Because I know I am not perfect
Because I still discover things I didn't expect
Because there are broken things I couldn't protect.

I will doubt myself,
Because what I like isn't what others like,
When raindrops fall, I see something I like,
Because when I look in the mirror I don't see my look alike.

I will doubt myself
Because I make wrong choices
Because I fall when I hear their voices
And can't speak aloud in this sea of noises.

I will doubt myself
Because tomorrow I might not wake up,
Because I show my face without make up,
Because there are mistakes I can't ever make up for.

Akai Yari

miseryshe listens to songs sung with the sweetness
his voice rarely has
sung of the love they tried to simulate
but never really had

after the fire dies
she tells herself lies

as the hours drag by
into the sunrise

she lays there and cries
a prisoner in a cell behind those eyes

she's thrown so many pennies into the well
it's practically hers to claim
she's wished upon the stars so many times
they practically know her name

after the fire dies
she tells herself lies

this is not my life
this is not a knife

she just lays there and cries
imprisoned by the stars in his eyes

Say you rememberHellos and goodbyes linked by spaces we dread.
Those whispering thoughts that we shared in our bed.
Every kiss making notes in a song all our own.
Those places explored from adventures we're shown.
The intricate glances that need not a word.
Fall winds making music that only we heard.
Sharing our breaths like a warming embrace.
Connections so deepened regardless of space.
Every moments a weave in our memories web,
yet time is a thief as it makes the mind ebb.
Say you remember these things even now.
If you don't I'll remind you just please ask me how.

you only live forever in the lights you makei'm not good enough to have a bad side, and i can't see
why you're so convinced i have a good one, but when every
move makes my heart melt i can't help but fall apart
and i almost can't believe you can even think of loving me

but don't stop okay

Shh. (Extension II)Shh, to hear the silent scream
of the girl you used to be.

Don't blink; she'll flash before your eyes.
To let her escape would not be wise.

She's a monster, built of tears and pain.
She'll rip at your soul till no joy remains.

She's out of control, a tangled mess,
Screaming for sorrow, for pain, distress.

It's imperative to keep her locked in cage,
Sealed with your agony, your accumulated rage.

Remember: she'll hurt them, too,
the ones who mean so much to you.

For however you choose to lock her away,
She will demand of you what you cannot pay.

Safe and SoundI remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so dumb? How could I forget? I lay slumped in the hallway. Tears fell down my pale face from my bright blue eyes. He knocked on the door and came in. His perfect lips formed an 'O' shape as he saw my state. His arms wrapped around me instantly and he whispered in my long blonde hair "I'm never going to let you go. I promise it's going to be okay." I held my hand open

Dying for youSweet blood all over my body,
I feel like floating, down and down,
Wish this feeling would be steady,
I wanna fly, I wanna drown.
Someone opens the door,
They try to save me
But as I'm lying on the floor,
I try to get free.
I don't want to be helped,
I don't want to be strong,
I just want to be held
by my beloved one.

Happy Ever AfterSeeing your smile,
Lights up my heart.

You've been able to do that,
From the very start.

Hearing your laugh,
Is the best part.

Holding you in my arms,
Feels like a happy ever after.

Spending the whole day together,
Ignoring hatred chatter.

Knowing you're both crazy,
Madder than the hatter.

Making tons of jokes,
And having fun.

Being with you,
Is better than a 100 days,
In the snow or sun.

Into your arms,
Is the only place I'd run

Forgotten DreamsI'm so tired
eyes nearly closed
soon to be sealed tightly for dreams to be exposed

Can you see it?
the way they drop like wilting flowers
the lids gently caressing
coaxing my mind into sleep
by cutting off the world

I want to sleep so badly
it is just out of reach
due to the constant thoughts running me in circles
through my head

What of tomorrow
or the next day
am I ready to face everything

Or will my non-existent world come crashing down
shattering into what used to be

Letting the cold seep into my bones
surrounding me with lost memories
and forgotten truths

But my eyes are still drooping
unable to heed the warnings of

A Sterile GraveOne hospital bed
Filled with blank eyes, leaving marks
On pristine white walls

UnknownI'd listen to radio signals
But all I'd hear is chlorine bleached static
That leaves a the bitter taste of Advil in my thoughts
Drugged up in an anaesthetic haze of morphine induced comatose
I'd clench my teeth to stop the florescent vowels
From escaping my insomniac lips
I've chewed them shut and pasted book spines on my ribcage
In an attempt to be something organic and interesting
Because the plain Jane exterior I've laced between my iris's
Is becoming a contradiction of what little sanity I possess

If tomorrow I don't Wake upI wonder what would happen
If I was never to wake up
Would people even care
I wonder if a commotion would erupt

Would anyone even notice
That I wasn't alive
Would my mother even mourn me
Or could she guess that I wouldn't survive

Well I'm still not dead
But I can barely call this living
I feel like a corpse
That hasn't given up on breathing

But I wonder what would happen
If I was actually to die
Would anyone be bothered
Or care enough to cry

Maybe everyone's just used to
Me living like a corpse
So no one would be bothered
Or life change the slightest off of course

But if I would never wake up
There's no way to know what

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More from ~LyingViaPoetry

Counting Sheep1, 2, 3, 4
Counting white balls of fluff
in a large area covered in spring green and dots of pink and yellow
going over the fence

What a boring fence...
maybe if it had barbed wire
and it was painted bright purple!

23, 24, 25, 26
They're still going
over the pointy purple fence
their wool moving slightly in the breeze

This breeze does nothing
how about some strong wind
yeah and...rain
maybe lightning and thunder too

39, 40, 41, 42
I'm surprised the little creatures haven't blown away yet
soaked fur and still jumping
sheep really don't belong out in the rain

So to put them out of their misery
they can be giant frogs
giant

Maggots in the MorgueIs it the spark or the twinkle in the eye
that I eat?
dreams and hopes now faded
being devoured by my minuscule mouth
all metaphorically of course

I eat the actual eye
dull and glassy
marbles polished with a gray layering of dust
in a now vacant mind

I start at the pupil
a small black hole waiting to swallow me up
maybe I will eat some of the iris too
but not to much
as not to overindulge
considering that is the best part

Brown, green, blue
a mix of all or none
but always different
unique, some may call it
but it all tastes the same in the end

After that I start going straight through
never mind the glossy white surroundi

Caramel Tongue and Candy Apple CheeksThe words are sticky in my mouth
Caramel flavored hopes that are soon to be swallowed
pulling at my teeth
clogging my throat

You come closer
your scent is overwhelming
melting the stickiness until it is flowing warmly over the back of my throat
but my lips are still stuck together

My mind is working overtime
as to not to spit out these embarrassing chewed up thoughts
I am still trying to swallow
but they are coming back up

Oh god you're getting closer
brown orbs filled to the brim with dark chocolate
my eyes are now glued to yours
like they are the last thing left to hold on to
as I fall off this cliff

And in to your lips I s

One Too Many PenniesLike butterfly wings unfurling
like my heart beating straight through my chest
like his eyes when I tell him

I can't do this

Like my hands shaking after I remember
like my dreams when life hits me in the face
like my cuts when life doesn't stop hitting

Over and over again

Life hits me in the throat
screams trapped in my chest
Life kicks me in the stomach
making sure the pain and guilt I am carrying in my womb
hits me full force

It is like the words I have shared with him
Beautiful and also scared, sad
but not angry
never angry

Like being striped away
of your eyes, your mouth
your face, your name
your being

You try to get

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Submitted: December 1, 2012
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Cutting Away

by ~LyingViaPoetry, Dec 1, 2012, 12:17:55 PM
Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

Weird
me?
or do I just seem uninhibited
making myself into this

Polite, friendly on top
quiet and a little off underneath
most of my time spent thinking

But I can never come to a conclusion
where do I lie?
on the other side maybe
then again I could still be here

Hanging on by threads
slowly being cut away by society
how cliche that sounds

No, it's not society
but even I didn't expect who really held the knife
chopping the ropes I clung to

Hopes for a mistake
a glitch in the process of thought
leading me to this undenyingly painful ending
that has hurt me in ways I have yet to understand

I wait in the clouds
becoming quieter, more distant
trying to find another solution to the maze
a weed hacker perhaps

Cutting away everything as if it doesn't matter
ripping down his face
our friendship

I am lost
lines blurred by my incessant...trimming
my labyrinth has become endless circles
going around each other

An exit has to be made
so now I will dig
going down and down
deeper into my own mind

The new route has led me to darkness
a never-ending abyss
one wrong step will allow me to fall in

Resolution crumbling underneath me
I turn to run
but the next thing I see is his face
forcing me to stumble backwards

The last string has been cut
now all I can do
is fall

Cutting Awayby ~LyingViaPoetry

Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

...

Critique by ~WalkingWithMetaphors Dec 2, 2012, 10:37:34 AM

This poem bothers me, and not for obvious reasons either.

It bothers me, because being a human being is often glossed over in our modern contrivances, and you manage to brute-force traumatize the reader with this poem into the realization that most of us, when all the glitter and lights are stripped away, are pretty much the same pile of dirt on the heap.

In other words, you force the reader to take that most unabashed look at themselves, swallow their pride, and accept that we are all sometimes the person digging for meaning, even if the shovel is our fingernails, and the hole is our own spirits and flesh.

This is a very well written, well conveyed poem, and the message reverberates to those that are not too stubborn to see the other side - the underside, the help-me-help-myself side of things.

We all end up in free fall at one point or another, and you nailed the personal side of it flawlessly.

Very well done, as usual.
- Mark

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