Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconlyingviapoetry: More from LyingViaPoetry


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
December 31, 2012
File Size
1.1 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
177
Favourites
23 (who?)
Comments
11
Downloads
1
×
Dip your toes in the icy depths of poetry
let it sting with it's truth
start to comfort you with it's twisting metaphors
I have yet to leave this serene lake of words

Ripples turning into voices
spoken with enough force to push me under
make me gasp for breath as the lines finish

Poetry becomes us
becomes love and hate
understanding
souls holding on to anything that's left

My hands glide across the water
feeling it's pulse
the beat of a heart romanticizing and utilizing the words
we have learned to make

Fading into an ever-lasting tremor
the tremble you hear when emotion becomes too much

Waiting in the pause
silence before the question
that one question that you know will haunt you

Hold the air in your lungs
the waters grasp has slipped
from around your chest

Breathe while you can
before the grip of a poets tongue
can pull you under once again
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming...
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmichel-le-fou:
OK. Duty calls, so here we go. This was a remarkable allegory between poetry and a lake, and I enjoyed the language and technique generally. I am delighted that many modern poets and some deviants here have remembered these, as they are valuable and long-established tools of trade.

The first stanza took mew immediately. Icy depths of poetry. A very thrilling-and yes! chilling! [excuse my pun] simile. The remainder shows sound use of spoken word use and free-genuinely free-verse style. Exceptional material, that I see rarely lately.

Poetry does become us, it always reflects the emotions that we claim are part of us. Very true!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconmanigran:
Manigran Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Gorgeous poem; love the choice of words and the link between poetry and water. So descriptive, so wonderful.
Reply
:iconlyingviapoetry:
LyingViaPoetry Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconmanigran:
Manigran Mar 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are welcome.
Reply
:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Jan 9, 2013  Professional Writer
yes, there is nothing quite as powerful or inspiring as words that are well-arranged!
Reply
:iconlyingviapoetry:
LyingViaPoetry Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconukebug:
UkeBug Jan 9, 2013  Student Writer
*hugs this poem*
Reply
:iconsi1ver-reborn:
absolutely beautiful! :)
Reply
:iconlyingviapoetry:
LyingViaPoetry Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :D
Reply
:iconoakleafninja23:
Beautiful.

And NEMO!!!! ^///^ Just keep swimming!
Reply
:iconlyingviapoetry:
LyingViaPoetry Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
Add a Comment: