She's Already Left

I'm done
it hurts and I don't care
they tell me I have no depth
but they don't understand

I'm the little girl who watched the windows break
shattering bones and glass
I'm the one who watched as they took her away and I could hear screaming,
red and blue lights echoing through my eyes

The one with lonely nights spent breathing
my head waiting for my heart but nothing's clicking
I can't move forward

I can't go on when my feet are stuck to the floor
glue made of sweet blood has me reeling
it's on me
my hands are drenched in someone else's pain

She doesn't remember
all those times when I needed her
I can't hold on to something that's not there
she's not there

Not even a gasp escapes my lips at this sight
I feel like there is no surprise anymore
when all I see is slacked jawed mouth and closed eyes
I've had this nightmare too many times

It hurts
But not as much as it should
if only her hand had not played a part in erasing
where the shock once stood
turning it into expectation
just waiting for the day
a few extra pills slip

Steady now
we aren't ready now
but then again, maybe we are
a few more tear stains than usual
but it's nothing I can't handle

I have depth, I do
but to see
maybe you have to pull everything out first
stripping myself of leaden veins
holding me to the earth
but when I stand up
there is still blood dripping down

I'm becoming her
and no one knows but me
each day is a step closer

Have you seen my mother lately,
I need to tell her she forgot something _me