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One or the OtherIt's not one or the other
I must have more choices
a variety of different decisions
I refuse to be placed
put into a box
waiting to be check marked from the list
And once you place me there
I'm not allowed to leave
stuck in bold letters of common enemies
But there is in-between the lines
and gray areas
keeping us away
from limited options
Tell me I am different
I have my own categories
too unique to just "fit in"
I'm better than pre-created place holders
ignorant stereotypes given
by simple minded people
Am I not allowed to fall in between
be that gray area in your black and white painting
I can't deal with being one thing
Already picked out for me
I can never change
just the same everyday
Defined by what's in between my legs
or what hangs off my shoulders one day
but maybe not the next
how do you see me?
You can keep your
"one or the other"
because I am the god damn rainbow in your black and white photo
stay away from me with your minimal selection
and only options
I can be
Caramel Tongue and Candy Apple CheeksThe words are sticky in my mouth
Caramel flavored hopes that are soon to be swallowed
pulling at my teeth
clogging my throat
You come closer
your scent is overwhelming
melting the stickiness until it is flowing warmly over the back of my throat
but my lips are still stuck together
My mind is working overtime
as to not to spit out these embarrassing chewed up thoughts
I am still trying to swallow
but they are coming back up
Oh god you're getting closer
brown orbs filled to the brim with dark chocolate
my eyes are now glued to yours
like they are the last thing left to hold on to
as I fall off this cliff
And in to your lips I suppose
considering they are now on mine
maybe my brain is still working on overload because I'm just standing here
unsure and about to pass out
because I just realized
Your lips are on mine
And now it's just bliss
our eyes are closed and I need something to hold on to
I grab on to your shoulders
but then it's over
you're pulling away and I am chewing on cara
Endless LakeDip your toes in the icy depths of poetry
let it sting with it's truth
start to comfort you with it's twisting metaphors
I have yet to leave this serene lake of words
Ripples turning into voices
spoken with enough force to push me under
make me gasp for breath as the lines finish
Poetry becomes us
becomes love and hate
souls holding on to anything that's left
My hands glide across the water
feeling it's pulse
the beat of a heart romanticizing and utilizing the words
we have learned to make
Fading into an ever-lasting tremor
the tremble you hear when emotion becomes too much
Waiting in the pause
silence before the question
that one question that you know will haunt you
Hold the air in your lungs
the waters grasp has slipped
from around your chest
Breathe while you can
before the grip of a poets tongue
can pull you under once again
Mother NatureTree ring eyes
and quivering leaves
as his ax reopens wounds
Sap flows down her cracked face
sticky tears of age
slowly falling to earth
in a silent cry for help
She's Already LeftI'm done
it hurts and I don't care
they tell me I have no depth
but they don't understand
I'm the little girl who watched the windows break
shattering bones and glass
I'm the one who watched as they took her away and I could hear screaming,
red and blue lights echoing through my eyes
The one with lonely nights spent breathing
my head waiting for my heart but nothing's clicking
I can't move forward
I can't go on when my feet are stuck to the floor
glue made of sweet blood has me reeling
it's on me
my hands are drenched in someone else's pain
She doesn't remember
all those times when I needed her
I can't hold on to something that's not there
she's not there
Not even a gasp escapes my lips at this sight
I feel like there is no surprise anymore
when all I see is slacked jawed mouth and closed eyes
I've had this nightmare too many times
But not as much as it should
if only her hand had not played a part in erasing
where the shock once stood
turning it into expectation
Maggots in the MorgueIs it the spark or the twinkle in the eye
that I eat?
dreams and hopes now faded
being devoured by my minuscule mouth
all metaphorically of course
I eat the actual eye
dull and glassy
marbles polished with a gray layering of dust
in a now vacant mind
I start at the pupil
a small black hole waiting to swallow me up
maybe I will eat some of the iris too
but not to much
as not to overindulge
considering that is the best part
Brown, green, blue
a mix of all or none
but always different
unique, some may call it
but it all tastes the same in the end
After that I start going straight through
never mind the glossy white surroundings
the soft squishiness on the inside is so much better
As I lay there
chewing on the tender veins and juices
I think about how this place is supposed to be like the holder of emotions
the place where you can see anger, sadness, or happiness on the rare occasion
That's what you think you may see
when the eye was still blinking
But now it is lifeless
Forgotten DreamsI'm so tired
eyes nearly closed
soon to be sealed tightly for dreams to be exposed
Can you see it?
the way they drop like wilting flowers
the lids gently caressing
coaxing my mind into sleep
by cutting off the world
I want to sleep so badly
it is just out of reach
due to the constant thoughts running me in circles
through my head
What of tomorrow
or the next day
am I ready to face everything
Or will my non-existent world come crashing down
shattering into what used to be
Letting the cold seep into my bones
surrounding me with lost memories
and forgotten truths
But my eyes are still drooping
unable to heed the warnings of my rescuer
I can't seem to care about myself any longer
I have to care about so many others
even if they are unaware of my worried half-lidded gaze
Maybe if dreams turn to nightmares
I can wake up still blissfully ignorant
the memory of it faded to blackness
with my now conscious mind
So now I will allow the sleep to fight off the cold
in hopes for some more forgotten
The tenderness that's herWith every word written, with every word spoken
I try my best to express myself, without it being broken
For what I feel is deep in my heart, is love that I want to be showing
Every day it develops, every day I feel more loving
Is the tenderness of passion, which I’ve never felt before
A feeling that I got from a girl who I truly adore
Beautiful as a rose and gentle as a peaceful dove
My heart gets filled with warmth, a feeling I describe as love
She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve seen, that’s as simple as I can be
So very cute and filled with joy, she’s the only girl who I want to see
Her adorable smile that always cheers me up, she’s the only one I need
She’s everything I ever wanted, I thank god that he gave her to me
Gilded cageFrom far away, the moonlight still manages to find
A trace of the girl all the world left behind.
The essence of her voice, the glow within her eyes,
She is the living paragon of all they despise
And once she found out, she was simply disgusted
Of all those empty words from the people she trusted.
But oh, little birdie, there's no need for rage,
You've been trapped all along inside this gilded cage.
The smiles you encountered, the love you received
Were by no means affectionate, you've been deceived.
Though life is unmerciful, you used to rejoice
So tell me, if given the chance what would be your choice?
Would you prefer this lie and indulge happily in your youth
Or live on begrudgingly knowing the truth?
If you knewIf you knew my feelings,
would you feel the same?
Would you hold me close,
or push me away?
If you knew my fears,
would you comfort me?
Would you tell me itd be alright
or leave me alone?
If you know my thoughts
would you accept me as me?
Would you think of me as less
and ignore me completely?
If you knew my desires
would you try to fulfill them,
or would you turn away,
disgusted by my longing
If you knew my love for you,
would it be returned?
would your love be forever
or would you leave me in the dust?
All Your False PromisesYou say you love me
Yet you call other girls cute.
You treat me second best
Like I'm not worth a damn.
You said you won't leave
And then you changed your mind.
I hope you regret things
When I'll find someone else.
If I hadn't known better
I'd say you liked to use me
To simply make you feel better
That your ex dumped you first.
Your promises were bullshit,
You never cared about me.
If you thought I was special
Then why did you walk out?
Candle Bones and Wax FleshShe spoke of the fire in her bones, a savage electricity sparking in her skeleton.
Insults hurled like bullets between them,
resentment igniting like gunpowder.
Her heart beats blue beneath her ribs; a raw, pulsing meat.
Her lips quiver, furious and trembling.
She struggles to reply but
there's fire on her tongue and lead anchors in her lungs.
She screams, flames rupturing from her esophagus,
heat seething from her bones.
She shrieks scorched flesh from between her teeth,
pausing to acknowledge ashes at her feet.
"The useless remains of what used to be alive."
If youIf you were the sun, I want to be your sky
If you were the moon, I want to be the stars
If you were a performer, I want to be your stage
If I was the moon, youd be the sun
If I was a leaf, you would be the gentle breeze that blows me away
If I was lost, would you look for me?
If love was the opening act, wed be the main event
If there was a painting, wed be the colors
If you loved me, my world would be all light.
Fallen (Like This?)Being frozen, the breath you once released is now held between your lips
time stops, the only thing that moves is my beating heart
drowning, puffed out cheeks and stretched out arms
Mountain tops tall as the sun, I fall.
continuously as time and flow slows around me
I get a glimpse of the things I once ignored
Was I now what we called reborn
feels like it?
Like This I feel happy
Like this fallen, just fallen
the edge of the world seems so easy to get to
time speeds back
normal wind whips through my face
my cheeks glossy red from the cold air
I close my eyes
falling at a speed
only God can know
like a bird at flight
when it learns how to fly I spread my arms
just in seconds
I breath again
light like a feather I drop into the arms of a Diamond
strong but beautiful he had it all.
Pluck my feathers till they are all gone
one by one they release a new girl
new to th
A Stranger'I would promise you until always ends, but I want to live forever.'
dripped off his thin lips.
something like saliva
and coughed-up calligraphy.
dancing to the surface:
a parody of laughter--
pallid and festering.
'you're a stranger, so why should i care.'
'you'll vanish today,'
to sticks of flesh and bone.
'not for the first time, i hear--or the last.'
a harsh white sky.
spume and spray
like a too-taunt sheet.
longing for dreams.
pulling me down.
shining and smooth:
like the last moments
of falling asleep.
'i want you to stay a stranger.'
The Art Of Falling ApartIf falling apart
Was a type of art
You'd be the Picasso of all pain
Beats the finest tapestry
Woven from a raging flame
The tears that you cry
Outshine each star in the sky
And the blood that runs through your veins
More red than the most brilliant rose
It runs from your head to your toes
You have scars where your skin met the edge of a blade
But like words in a book
They need not be overlooked
They tell a story in a way of their own
All the blood that you shed
All the times you wished you were dead
They speak of despair and they speak of sorrow
So now you've mastered the art
Of falling apart
Now you're a canvas of black and blue
Using a blade for a brush
And for one final touch
I'll put a stroke of love in you
Suffocate MeJust hold tighter
hold me down
pin me to the ground
It's what I'm used to
after hours of being forced to listen
to the sound of my own crying
my own screams
screams tearing my throat
I can still feel the blood dripping
no matter how many times I scrub my skin
I still see hand prints
Close up the hole within me
smother it into oblivion
cover it with your own body
That's what I'm used to
hands clutching my throat like it's holding him to earth
if he let's go...
no, it doesn't matter he never let go
Feeling the flow of air
from his lungs to my face
breath on me
make me take in only your oxygen
that's what I'm used to
Used to forced entry
to grunts of pleasure
cries of lost hope
cries of pain
him calling names
Call me names
say I'm your ho, your slut,
say I'm only yours
no one else
show me how much I belong to you
That's what I'm used to
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More