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Literature Text
You take a step forward
I take one back
your questioning eyes are too close for comfort
Diving into questions you feel are okay to ask
making assumptions that are nearly spot on
Your getting too close
I think you should stay where you are
Why are you like this?
He asks
Warning:
This information is unavailable to passerby's and boys with blue eyes
I can't answer your questions
if I do you'll just ask more
take a few more steps forward
while I do my best to take as many as I can back
You aren't allowed to know anything about me
you can't be this close without hurting me
please just keep your distance
What happened to you?
he asks
Warning:
This information is unavailable to passerby's and boys with blue eyes
You quickly close the distance between us
I've barely blinked but now I'm looking up at you
ocean orbs shining with more questions still unanswered
I want to move
but I can't even breathe
I realize what is happening but can't do anything about it
if we stay like this everything might come pouring out
Where is the girl I used to know?
he asks
Warning:
This information is unavailable to passerby's and boys with blue eyes
This question snaps me back in to my hard reality
I scramble back as fast I can before I say something I'll regret
the new found distance between us leaves disappointment in your eyes
I turn to leave
not being able to take anymore of this investigation
the only thing stopping me is the hand clamped around my arm
How can I help you?
he asks
Warning:
Warning:
Warning:
This information is unavailable to passerby's and boys with blue eyes
I take one back
your questioning eyes are too close for comfort
Diving into questions you feel are okay to ask
making assumptions that are nearly spot on
Your getting too close
I think you should stay where you are
Why are you like this?
He asks
Warning:
This information is unavailable to passerby's and boys with blue eyes
I can't answer your questions
if I do you'll just ask more
take a few more steps forward
while I do my best to take as many as I can back
You aren't allowed to know anything about me
you can't be this close without hurting me
please just keep your distance
What happened to you?
he asks
Warning:
This information is unavailable to passerby's and boys with blue eyes
You quickly close the distance between us
I've barely blinked but now I'm looking up at you
ocean orbs shining with more questions still unanswered
I want to move
but I can't even breathe
I realize what is happening but can't do anything about it
if we stay like this everything might come pouring out
Where is the girl I used to know?
he asks
Warning:
This information is unavailable to passerby's and boys with blue eyes
This question snaps me back in to my hard reality
I scramble back as fast I can before I say something I'll regret
the new found distance between us leaves disappointment in your eyes
I turn to leave
not being able to take anymore of this investigation
the only thing stopping me is the hand clamped around my arm
How can I help you?
he asks
Warning:
Warning:
Warning:
This information is unavailable to passerby's and boys with blue eyes
I imagine 'Warning: This information is unavailable to passerby's and boys with blue eyes' in that robot voice thing. It sounds cool in my head at least.
© 2012 - 2024 LyingViaPoetry
Comments15
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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
The first three lines literally remind me of when a Lioness sizes up a prey animal. Sheesh. LOL.
Next four lines, again with the predatory 'step into my office' creep show. The tension is building well.
The passersby and boys with blue eyes metaphor is staggering in the WTF moment is engenders in the reader. I was like..what? Sinister in the undertone, mysterious in the possibilities, and downright cryptic. It works.
The dance into possible oblivion commences in the next section. Not sure where things are headed, and writing this critique as I read each section.
---
I can only come to the conclusion that this scene, real or imagined, ended badly for both parties. LOL. That it captured such emotion, and such tension between two unknown variables is an understatement.
This is a very interesting poem, and the turns of phrase leave a little bit of a fog in my head, so I cannot truly say I know what the poem is ABOUT, but I can certainly attest to the fact the poem beats a reader upside their head.
Well done. I was made to think. That is a good poem indeed that causes thought!